You Know Your Dad has Had Too Much Coffee When…

*Your older brother is named Juan Valdez

*Your Dad gets a speeding ticket even when he is parked

*Dad grinds coffee beans with his mouth

*Dad sleeps with his eyes open

*Dad licks your coffee pot clean

*Dad’s eyes stay open when he sneezes.

*The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take Dad’s pulse

*Dad can type sixty words a minute with his feet

*Dad can jump-start your car without cables

*Dad’s only sources of nutrition comes from “Sweet & Low”

*Dad doesn’t sweat, he percolates

*Dad worn out the handle on his favorite coffee mug

*Dad goes to AA meetings just for the free coffee

*Dad wore the finish off your coffee table

*The Taster’s Choice couple wants to adopt Dad

*Starbuck’s owns the mortgage on Dad’s house

*Dad is so wired he picks up FM radio

*Dad’s life’s goal is to “amount to a hill of beans”

*Dad’s instant coffee takes too long

*Dad’s lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position